Woke up early this morning, ready for work and very excited about finally getting some answers in the phone charger experiments.
Began work with the phone charger cord at 6:58. Reviewed notes—results from the taste tests of the past few days. Then commenced to taste again to note taste or texture variations that may have occurred in 11 hours at room temperature. The flat end of the charger that goes into the phone specimen (of which I haven’t successfully negotiated acquisition in a good two weeks, to my chagrin) delivered no new sensation in the taste test, although I have to say I still just really like it. The flat metal piece is positively electrifying (that’s a little joke but totally true; what is it about that little metal piece that just soothes my anxiety and makes me forget everything else?)
I’m getting off topic here… I proceeded to do pull and whip tests with the white cord of the phone charger. Very satisfying sound on impact with the whip test. No perceptible alteration of chord length in the pull test, and the cord did not break, no matter how much pressure I applied with full arm strength. Interesting. Tried to plug the cord into the floor vent that occasionally blasts cold air (will be making SERIOUS inquiries there, you better believe it). Results inconclusive.
Phone cord research continued until 7:27. Haven’t been so absorbed in a single test subject in some time—feel positively invigorated. Expressed my feelings through song and dance, slapping table top for 5-6 minutes.
At 7:50, I ran some routine investigations of the leftovers from last night’s supper that I set aside for myself during the meal by throwing them under my chair. Bits of carrot and one or two beans; nothing heavy. Satisfying.
8:10—break time; put in request for lap-book reading with Mother. Mother is always so helpful to my research, although I sense that she doesn’t understand the importance of the work. She is sort of an assistant in that way and helps me analyze data. We read through the data together: The Foot Book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Where’s My Nose?, and other classic works by the great minds that have preceded me. I wonder if she understands them.
9:13—Have spent the last forty minutes at least running tests on Bookshelves 3 and 4. All books on the bottom two shelves are removeable. They are fully intact when removed. Some pages can then be extracted when directed pressure is applied with the fingers and mouth. Have no conclusive evidence that all pages can be removed—I wonder how many positive tests I need before I can present a compelling hypothesis that they are ALL removable? Perhaps removing all of them is the only way. But I’ll need time, so much time…
As for the other shelves, I won’t be able to run any tests at all on them until I get more equipment, or can hire a decent assistant that is over 2’3”.
I was slow getting started today but still got quite a bit done. Began the workday with a rush to the toilet bowl room to see if could collect data before getting shut down. And this is the news that I can hardly believe I’m able to write! I ran a complete taste test on the rim of the toilet bowl, and a tactile test on the water! Wasn’t able to collect any samples, but my goodness, if anyone had told me a month ago that I’d have gotten this far by now, I wouldn’t have believed it. Success! And at barely 7:20 in the morning.
Of course, Mother aborted the test so quickly I barely had a flavor reading, but it was enough… enough. Enough to move forward on. I am so blessed!
11:00 –after first sleep of day, did a little spatula work, with a spatula that has a nice metal handle. I spatula’d everything that I had time to spatula—the fridge, the kitchen floor, the cabinets, my foot, and the bowls that Mother had left on the floor (probably without thinking; sometimes I’m amazed at what she leaves around—there are toys all over the living room right now and surely she knows I’m going to run experiments on them if she leaves them lying around?). Results inconclusive; I cannot determine whether spatulas leave a mark on anything at all. When applied in certain ways, there is a satisfying sound component. Taste component is negligible.
I’ve trained Mother to say ‘no’ when one of my experiments makes her uncomfortable, so that I can be aware of that as I keep on doing it.
8:00—It’s been such a long time since I’ve recorded my findings. The problem is that I’ve been so deep into the research that it hasn’t seemed possible to even make notes. The findings are thick and fast; I’m hardly able to keep up with the massive data.
Here are the most major:
- I’ve become absolutely proficient in using my feet and legs to propel myself forward through this environment. It is much faster than any other way. The speed is incredible; I can get from the house to the asphalt area where cars go by in probably 7 seconds, and I’m improving on that time every day. I can get into the room where Daddy sings in the shower in 3 seconds from anywhere in the house.
I’ve discovered that climbing various heights is perfectly doable, given time to assess and plan. I can make it to the top of Daddy’s work desk, given a few moments when Mother is not nearby with her anti-research agenda. I have also discovered that every precaution should be taken not to fall off of this desk, because the carpet doesn’t feel as soft from the height of the desk. Will have to make more notes and perhaps experiment to discover at which height precisely the softness of the carpet is no longer evident.
- I’ve also discovered that even when Daddy is in the shower and is singing, it is NOT advisable to try to join him in the shower because when one leans too far over the tub wall, one can go in the wrong way up. This results in one’s head and shoulders getting very wet and one’s legs being most unceremoniously stuck up in the air. There’s also crying that goes along with this. Lots of crying.
- I’ve come so far in my toilet experiments that I don’t try to open the toilet lid anymore, which is almost always kept closed. I believe that there comes a time in one’s mature development when not all research is as worthwhile as it used to be. Also I can’t open the lid.
I’ve discovered that I can communicate with my handlers in a new way! Where previously, I had to resort to cries, grunts, and rudimentary finger pointing to make them understand me, I’ve found that they begin to respond to spoken words very well. With their increased aptitude, there has come the joy of learning language together. There are names for everything, I find, and although their pronunciation of the English language is not as good as mine, I find that our learning really is neck-and-neck. They can now understand “Mommy,” “Daddy,” “water,” “apple,” “please,” “wow,” “birdie,” “ball,” “doggie,” “Giggy,” “flower,” “hello,” “bye,” “tomato,” and a few more. Their growth is absolutely thrilling for me to observe, and I feel that soon we’ll be graduating to more complex information.
10:30 a.m. Must go. Have never been this tired. Feel that I am coming unglued; I wonder if Marie Curie ever took naps? Must have if she ever got anything done.